つばさ

Mod Update

2007-05-14T00:31:08Z

... since its a freaking PAIN to keep switching to IE to post icons, i'll start using my new lj name (well...newer) tsumasaki to post here :D

moved

2005-07-25T04:23:32Z

i have moved to a new lj.

i am not giving it out, because i want to merely keep a low profile and start afresh.

i am not giving into anyone. this is my own decision.

keep looking around icon communities for my new name. if you're smart, you might locate me.

im sorry but i have to start fresh. hersay can kill a person, it really can.

im not taking any chances

2005-05-17T01:24:20Z

binary i only did it because i had to figure out who was the "spy". i'm sorry if i was wrong but you didn't defend yourself.. so I had to do what I had to do.
oh and limeybean. you dont seem to care to be friends with me anyway. so why keep someone who doesnt care about me?
flowerings. you said you were thinking about it. well i decided for you. but the door swings both ways. you didn't care to post anything on my entries and i went to your journal and i didn't see any posts... or something odd like that. but im saving you the "hurtfullness" of deleting me first. if you dont want to be my friend, okay fine. but do it for the RIGHT REASONS.

i'm sorry you guys are off. neither of you have said you didn't give indy my posts so im sorry. you're gone. you guys are the ONLY ONES who didn't say anything.

comments disabled. more rude comments coming from certain people will cause you to be banned. its so horrible that some of you USED to be on my flist. its horrible when people turn to the dark side.

:(

2005-05-12T21:42:02Z

im sorry for the way ive been acting lately. i know ive been driving people against me instead of in my favour but i'm such an idiot because i haven't taken my medicine and well i would explain it but you guys might not understand what im going through.

when i get really depressed i split up into two people and the 'bad' version of me usually takes over and gets irritated at everything.

so im sorry and i wish i could take back all the things ive said to people... but i cant. whats done is done and there's nothing i can do about it.

although there are a few things that i dont want to take back. but perhaps reword.

this is how i lost camp, probably lost gabe and lost my sense of pride.

i'm really and truly sorry for being such a 'bitch' and 'childish'. i'm REALLY not like that at all.

why h/hr is incest. (my rant)

2005-03-18T04:21:01Z

Why h/hr is incest

Okay I just read this incredibly STUPID article on lexicon about Harry/Hermione and I had to comment on it.

Okay… I have this sort of gift. I can TELL instantly if there is attraction between two people. Even if its by description or in real life or in a book. Well… however not with myself but you get the point. I’m not trying to brag I’m stating the absolute truth.

So here it is with Harry/Hermione…. When I first read Harry Potter I didn’t notice ANYTHING but sisterly/brotherly love between them. Does it have to be if a guy says to a girl “I don’t think you’re ugly,” automatically they have to like them? Or if they spend too much time with a girl… he has to like them? Its absurd! There is NO ATTRACTION BETWEEN THEM! I would have noticed… believe me. It’s the awkward moments that define the relationship and that exists between Ron and Hermione.

So okay h/hr is incest. Why? Because they act like brother and sister to each other because neither of them have brothers or sisters? GASP did you notice that?? They found someone to replace the void in each others lives. Ron, however, has various siblings and therefore does not need sibling companionship. Therefore, he has harry to be his friend.. and now what? Companionship ( Hermione)

Okay so im done now. Do you get my drift and understand why h/hr is incest? Wouldn’t you protect your best guy/girl friend?

friends cut: 01

2005-01-03T09:00:58Z

ive been meaning to do this for awhile.

im sorry to do this why several of you i just haven't really gotten to know and i want to slim down my flist a bit to the people i really comment a lot on and have gotten to know. if you want to try again and get to know me a bit better when my friends thing is open again.

_fatale - never got to know one another
dimpled - again, same thing
_lemonaide - you wanted to be on my flist however neither of us ever commented and nothing ever happened, so yeah.
kikaypinay - ditto
laterthdayday - um you've never written?
ov3rnow - i love you leanne but we never ljed much did we
sharkbaitwooaha - never really got to know each other
trick_c_baby - same
truesalcove - yeah sorry i had to do this dude but we kinda lost touch
ventanilla - as much as it pains me to do this, i have to. i really wanted to really get to know you and become you're friend. i posted comments on your posts pretty much everyday. however you barely made any effort to get to know me and that really pissed me off. this may not how it may have been, but to me it seemed that just because i'm not in tehelite that you did not want really anything to do with me. that may not have been the truth but i felt pushed away by other people. you would post on elle's journal, but not mine even. that really made me feel like shit. so i hate to do this but i can't do this anymore. if i thought wrong about this then please forgive me but this is how you made my circumstance feel.
wende_dormiens - again didn't get to know each other much
_yippy_ - same

again if you want to change your reasoning or something please comment but again im happy with my flist but if you want to try again leave a comment and i might change my mind :D

Friends ONLY!

2004-10-02T11:17:44Z

FRIENDS ONLY

okay. i'm trying this again... but PLEASE only friend me if you WANT to be my friend and not read my entries for you're snickering pleasure.

and when commenting, only those who write sincere comments will be added back. "add me" will not suffice.

more good things?

2004-09-15T05:39:59Z

hi guys. sorry i haven't posted this earlier. i'm lazy what can i say.

anyway jojo has been back from the doggie hospital for the few days now. she seems to be okay. snowy is glad to have her back. jojo is so sweet :) they're both sooooo adorable.

i called back laurie, one of my friends that i met in the 7th grade. i thought she was mad at me but i guess not. we talked for awhile actually. but i was "working" at my dad's office and i was bored so i called her. well haha i told her i had to go when my dad walked in. However i'll call her back.

i really got to get to work on that flag routine. next tuesday i gotta go teach it to them :X

anyway i got a friends only post i gotta post after this but i wanted everyone to know jojo was okay

iconsies

2004-09-11T05:23:10Z

i posted icons. im too lazy to go over there again and get the exact url but go to

freak_icons

and go lookie

:). finally i got the damn hp actor set up. phew.

fucking computerparents

2004-09-11T00:15:20Z

okay well my damn computer is fucking messed up and for some reason it won't let me on the internet.

it's all my mother's fault. yesterday my dad and I went to OKC for a doctor's appointment. MY MOM had to mess around with the cable wire and she dropped the cable modem and the wireless router and maybe messed up the coaxe and now my computer won't let me connect the internet. i even fucking reformatted my computer and still nothing is working.

my mom told me not to get on her computer but she's the one that fucking messed everything up so screw her. she's at a movie with my dad.

so gah im trying to figure out what's wrong but if i don't tonight im taking it over to a computer place tomorrow and see if they can figure out what's wrong. im so pissed off right now it's not even funny.

okay computer is working but now im pissed off at my parents. they caught me on my mom's computer and they say they think a virius is on it now because i was on it (they always blame everything computer wise on me). the computer is slow (it has been for the whole fucking day) and being an ass and they say it's because i checked my mail (on aol and i didn't open anything) and i didn't even check my mail and i went on 3 livejournal pages. her laptop was fucked up before that.

UGGGGGH

and well hell yes i lie about it because i didn't have anything to do about it and then they start comparing me to my brother "miles never lied to us...at least he always told the truth...blah blah" well yeah you know what?? MILES FUCKING DID CRACK!!!

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i want to throw something out a window.

help please!

2004-09-09T02:31:29Z

okay im getting REALLY frustrated with this!!!

i want to know how to make it so that in a community (this is a free account mind you) that the userpics DO NOT show up! please someone help me! i'm about to tear my hair out!

help me figure out this song!!!!!!!!!!

2004-09-07T22:25:53Z

okay if i don't figure out this song it's going to kill me.

i heard this down in florida and i SWEAR i've heard it before and i'm downloaded "1979" by smashing pumpkins right now and i don't think that's it but i remember about hmmmm to words from the song?

"in 1984" it's kinda accousticy? if that's a word....but i know it's a year in the 80's

PLEASE HELP ME I GOTTA FIGURE OUT THIS SONG!

hahaha. yay for tainted__tears. it's "1985" by bowling for soup. i think cailtin tried to tell me that but i didn't think that was it. haha that's my birth year. yayay. they sound cool i might have to buy that cd.

still haven't found it. that was the wrong song.

YAY FOR binary!!!!!!

it's incubus "talk shows on mute" :D she at least pointed me to incubus. hahaha funny because i had the cd. i knew that song sounded fimilar. dude you so need to im me sometime (callmefreak xx) if you like incubus :D

pictures!!!!!!!!

2004-09-07T03:18:10Z

WOOT! i finally got some new pictures of me!!! and they actually LOOK GOOD!!! and hahah because im totally curious i added a fun little poll and if you could please answer :D pics and poll under cut :D

the last one is my favorite :D

View Poll: which HP character do i look like

FUCK YOU INTERNET EXPLORER!

2004-09-06T07:45:10Z

okay, i was doing this repost for my icon journal. and i did it in IE so that aol wouldn't close on me and i would be fucked.

WELL i had done everything and mind you this was 250+ icon post and i was all excited and i went to click preview and it was going well until IE decided it was going to be a butt fucker and freeze. yes it FROZE. it FUCKING FROZE ON ME!

so yeah that copying and pasting took ME AN HOUR! damn it i'm so mad

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGh!!!!!

I WANT TO KILL IE RIGHT NOW

gmails

2004-09-05T21:08:45Z

hey guys! woot i finally got 6 gmail invites!!!

so if you want one please leave your name and your email address in a comment

oh yeah and i'm feeling a lot better today so that's good. i guess a good nights sleep is all i need

the shits

2004-09-05T06:45:14Z

damn it i was writing this entry and then aol kicked me off. aol is such a fucktard. ugh.

anyway. today was one of those days where no matter how much you try to make it a good day, everything seems to go bad. of course i'm on the rag so that doesn't help.

well as i wrote before, jojo is in the doggie hospital. she's doing okay i think they said but i'm not expecting her to get well to tell you the truth. it wouldn't bug me except the fact that the bible says that animals don't have souls. Now I won't mind once i'm in heaven but it's the time when i'm on earth. and poor snowy. snowy has been freaking out all day looking for her sister everywhere. My mom and I have been paying as much attention to her as possible. my dad has been watching football, plus he never pays as much attention to the dogs as mom and I do.

well and so i was out of pads so i decided to go to walmart and so i went to my car and i thought i saw gabe's brother walking down the street so i called his name. well he looked over and didn't say hi or stop or anything so i called it again. same thing, no answer. Well i kinda ran over and well he was still walking and i was yelling at him and he finally said "uh do i know you" and well when i finally got to look at him (the sun was in my eyes) i guess it wasn't him. i felt sooooooo stupid. so i went back to my car and just kinda felt horrible. i felt so stupid and more like shit.

so anyway went to walmart blah and then i went to the mall and i got two cds. I got the libertines cd and godsmack's new cd. then i went to sonic and then home.

i finally got an email from mr. doof (you-know-who *cough*) but you know him he never says much. which sometimes bugs me. i wish he would say more. of course you know guys. i just wish he would open up to me more. i mean if we're were REALLY just friends he would wouldn't he? i'm so confused. and yeah i feel sooooo ugly. like very ugly. i looked at myself from the side in a mirror kinda deal by the cds in walmart and i look like crap. my cheeks are so fat and my face is just crap from the site. i feel horrible about myself.

i feel like i'm going to burst into tears any moment. seriously. i know it's not going to help me anyway. i just wish everything would just be better

i hate my life. i hate my body. i want jojo well. i want to know that someone thinks i'm beautiful

I WANT TO STOP BEING DEPRESSED. but i know i can't help that.

:(

2004-09-04T20:17:29Z

jojo has been admitted to the doggie hospital. poor snowflake is all shookup wondering where her sister has gone to.

im really worried about poor jojo. not to mention a certain somene hasn't emailed me since tuesday. plus im on my peroid.

im trying to watch southpark to cheer me up but i still like any moment i'm going to burst into tears

i will pay!!!

2004-09-04T03:54:44Z

okay guys, im getting desperate. okay rexfeatures is being an ass and i asked them about us residents being able to get an account and they said something about that we couldn't right now or something? so i'm asking that if SOMEONE has one I will happy to help pay for it or give you a bit of the payment! hell i'll give you $20 or something but i've been desperately searching for a username and password to rexfeatures and i cant find one :( so please someone help me. I have a paypal account for my debit card and i'm WILLING TO PAY YOU TO SHARE IT WITH ME!!!

PLEASEEEEEEEE HELP ME!!!

i am now a choreographer

2004-09-03T08:56:57Z

well my dad said a few weeks ago that my old band directer needed to talk to me. well i'm a lazy butt and haven't called him or anything.

well suprising enough i actually went to church on wednesday (and i actually did enjoy it and got a few things out of it, so heck i may make this a weekly thing) and well since I go to the same church as my band director i thought i'd talk to him.

now at first I was kinda iffy because he called me at the end of my senior year and asked about this mouthpiece that was lended to me during symphonic band season. I had given it back. So i think it got lost or something. I was sort of worried it might had something to do with this but then I started thinking, "uh mary...this is almost two years later. Why the crap would he still be worrying about this" and then i got a little headstrong and thought maybe he wanted my help with something.

well i was right.

so anyway after church i went up and asked him what he wanted to talk to me about. He wanted to know if I would (or if i was too busy if I knew anyone) who would choreograph one a routine for the flag team for this year's show. I was really excited about this!!! I said, "Mr. Haas, I have so much free time it's not even funny." so I got the job. Of course I don't have the music or anything so I can't start. But what he wants is beginning dance in it. I'm mostly just going to do turns and ballet-ish hand movements and stuff that will LOOK like ballet and perhaps just easy beginner stuff and well heck the fun stuff. lol. but i'm rather excited about this. I'm going to go to the lawton high vs eisenhower (my old high school) game tomorrow (the BIG game) well perhaps... i might not. dunno yet. and perhaps cheer the band on. of course i don't know because it's usually a mob scene. well anyway he wanted to use beach balls for this. Um...well i suggested ribbon dancers and he liked that idea so I hope beachballs are out.

anyway and last night sucked. i tossed and turned and my stomach acid acted up and ugh. well anyway when i woke up my dad tells me (when he came home from work) that one of my friends (who i thought kinda disliked me) who i met in 7th grade called up (we were also in band together the whole time and in flag together the whole time. bethany of course made her evil...but that's another story) and my dad said she called and was excited to hear I was staying the whole year and gave my parents her cell phone number and wanted me to call. So i'm probably going to call her tomorrow. Wow i'm really exciting how things are turning around. I guess God was punishing me for now going to church like I should. I guess i can't be a wallflower forever and I guess there are people in the outside world who do like me.

please don't guys

2004-09-03T04:30:56Z

okay i don't want to sound like a prude but guys please DON'T use my new icons that are MY USERICONS until i release them on my icon journal.

this kinda ticks me off because that means people save them FROM MY OWN USERPICTURES and that is not cool!!!

so PLEASEEEEE don't do this!!! i have allowed spellotaped and nawalst3r to use them because they are two of my good friends. but other than that please guys don't use them until i finish this set.

new layout

2004-09-01T04:47:44Z

new layout . yay. haha the faces of dan. neutral. half smile and cheesy. hahaha.

anyway im about to post a friends-only post because im so fucking pissed of at thefanlistings.org right now.

HOLY #$)($)@(#$)(

2004-08-31T20:59:38Z

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

my brushes posted at my icon journal now has 100 comments. >___<

oh wow......that is sooooo exciting!! AHHHHHH!!!

ive NEVER had that many comments!! EVER!!!!

im so excitedd!!!

and last night i put up a new layout up at poetic-genius.org although i still have a few things to fix on the updates part.

and i had a few weird dreams last night. okay one was really good and the other one was too. but since i don't want to clog your flist i'll put those under a cut

okay well i probably should be putting this as a friends only post because this involves you know who but we won't say his name will we? okay well for some odd reason my mom and his mom were driving together and they left us at a school or something somehwere (i have no idea where) and they had to do something inside because they were both teachers there (?) and so they left us in the car together (smart) but i had to go to the bathroom and well they said they'd be gone a long time. well for some odd reason one of my legs was really screwed up and when i walked my right leg hurt really badly and i had to have a cane well i left it in the car (?) with you know who and i tried to walk up the stairs in the school and i was on the the roof or something and tried to go down into the school but the stairs were really dark and i hadn't gone a few steps down and everything started to close in and i tried to come out and it got my foot and i almost didn't get it out. well i hurried down (or tried to) to the car and i started crying and haha by then all of the seats were flattened down so it was kinda like a big hard matress sort of so he held me there while i was crying because i was in such bad pain.
end of dream (dang)

okay well next dream. now i was in london and my mom kept saying i was late and dragged me to a gucci store and it had all this outdoor stuff and we were looking for this kate person well we finally found her and she was going to help me get ready for an audition for a walk on role on the next harry potter movie!!! and my dance teacher was there along with someone i worked with on nutcracker and well i don't remember the audition but i remember being on the set or something and talking to emma? and then the dream was over. crap.

RANT: for all you ignorant hp fans out there who are pissing me off

2004-08-29T20:52:02Z

okay im getting sooooooooooooooooooo sick of all these protests for bringing back book!hermione and book!ron. okay guys...this really pisses me off. why? because my major is film & video stuides. so you're insluting my industry. So I have to defend it and explain how things go, mmmkay?

1st okay. Steve kloves knows more about hp than you do. So don't go assuming anything buttheads. I know everyone is pissed that hermione took that line "if you're going to kill harry you'll have to kill us too" but people seriously... take into consideration something here. Ron is sitting on the floor. Could he have really done something about this? could he have really protected harry? NO! Steve kloves was brilliant giving the line to hermione who can WALK! der people. and yes i love ron. ron is one of my favorite characters. I crack up at ron. I see no difference between book!ron and movie!ron. i don't. YES steve kloves did say his favorite character to write was hermione but he said so because if you need to say anything to inform the audience you can say it through dumbledore or hermione. convient eh? that doesn't mean he doesn't like ron. plus ron is incredibly brave. i mean look at cos. he was incredibly brave in that movie. he stuck through it, he really did. same in poa.

2nd. jk rowling has say in what happens. she wouldn't let her characters be adulterated. plus steve kloves asks her for advice! he wouldn't change anything without asking her first so obviously she okays it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DUH GUYS!!!!!! JK and steve have a tight relationship and they wouldn't let the characters go wrong.

okay and another thing when converting a book to a movie everything is not going to be perfect. The characters are not always going to be the same and scenes are going to be taken out. That's life. It's called A FUCKING BUDGET. yes. a budget. MONEY. HELLO PEOPLE. plus TIME!! time and money go together. it's not alfonso's fault if he couldn't put several scenes into poa. you can't make a 5 hour movie. it's not possible. he has to go by the schedule and budge warner brothers has set for him. Same with Mike Newell, he has to cut several scenes from the book because of TIME! and of course i bet you anything he talked to steve kloves who talked to jk rowling (or perhaps he talked to jk rowling himself) and she okayed it.

so you're bitching about the movie buisness isn't going to do a damn thing. why? because they won't change anything because a few fans are man because the characters they love aren't exactly the way they are in the books. If you really have a bone to pick, talk to JK Rowling because she authorizes everything.

don't like what i said? too fucking bad. that's the movie buisness and i'm going to be apart of it one day. live with it, it's the truth.

i need your opinion

2004-08-27T06:35:07Z

OKAY well since everyone thinks my OC in my harry potter fanfiction is a mary-sue and well heck i have to admit her being an elf is kinda far-fetched, i've decided to rewrite her history. so if you guys wouldn't mind reading it and putting your opinions in the comments?

PLEASE???

okay. well this is kinda long so here goes.

instead of alex being an elf (because everyone seems to hate that idea and i have to admit it is a bit unrealistic) she is a mystic.

i have even planned the history of the mystics and plan to write a proluge (did i spell that write? I'm kinda out of it right now) and well it's the letter Dumbledore writes to Mrs. Weasley explaining the history of Alex's people and i'll have a link to that in my story.

so here's a brief background

mystics are human. They can do SOME wandless magic, just like wizards, when they have have heightened emotions (again sorry i may spell things wrong so bear with me) however they do have a bit more magical ability than wizards do. The only other big ability they have is they can heal people. That is their big appeal.

Now there are only a few mystics. They are a very small group. Well during the war, they were of course asked by both sides to join them. They of course wanted to stick together. Well Voldemort promised to keep them safe and just asked to heal his people. the OoTP was asking a bit more so they sided with voldemort (of course not knowing he was the bad side). Well Alex's parents Elizabeth and Nigel were part of that group. (alex was about a few months old or so) and well they were kept at headquarts and kinda locked away so that none of them would know what voldemort was doing. and of course all of them were fitted with the dark mark and made 'death eaters' of course they didn't know what that meant. Well one mystic found out everything and they started to get suspicious and well voldemort exterminated them. well alex's mom hid her in a drawer (with the back cut out so she could breathe) and the whole place was trashed (except the dresser) and well guess who found alex crying? yep it was snape who was undercover and so he went to the first member house he could think of, remus lupin and then informed dumbledore. snape of course knew all of the mystics so he knew it was alex. he had been fond of alex as well.

well alex was home schooled and kept at lupin's because dumbledore was afraid that one of the death eater's might find out that one of the mystics was still alive. and during the year that remus taught school, she went and lived with mad eye moony.

now somehow lucius malfoy (by barty crouch of course) found out about alex and of course told voldemort. so alex was found and took to the malfoys and captured. well when the order was est. again looked for her and then of course found her and took her to grimmuald.

im taking out the evaporing thing and stuff. she's going to to a bit more helpless than she previously was. she's not hermione's cousin either,im going to take that out. or lupin's goddaughter. he was just her legal guardian.

so i hope that sounds better.

AHHH!!!!

2004-08-24T05:25:18Z

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andddddddddddd i put up 6 hanson icons and some hp scans and some series of unfortunate events scans!!! so go check them out PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

つばさ